Setting the Rules: How Facebook and Relationships Need to Be Defined
Social media sites are a great resource for many things.
They can, for example, keep you connected with family and friends from around the world. They can bring you together with strangers to learn about different cultures and world issues. They can also help you to find those with common interests and areas of focus so that you can grow personally as a person. But, there are also downsides to social media sites, especially sites like Facebook. Facebook, while wonderful for all of the above reasons, is a double-edged sword in its power. This social media site has the potential to be very detrimental to relationships if individuals are not careful. If you find yourself worried about how social media is impacting your partnership or are worried that it is causing problems, consider the following rules for Facebook and relationships that you can use in your own life.
The Rules of Facebook and Relationships
- Do Not Overshare: When it comes to Facebook and relationships, one problem is that people overshare. They share intimate details about others or excitement over minor things that can really cause a wedge in the partnership. This becomes especially true when it comes to posting the status of a relationship. Do not jump the gun and put a label on your partnership before it is solidified nor tell everyone what is going on when you have problems. Keeping some things private is a great way to protect your relationship from unnecessary prying eyes.
- Give Your Partner Space: Women and men do not want to be smothered in a relationship. After all, you are two different people at your core. Even the strongest of partnerships need to allow for some breathing room and this courtesy extends to Facebook as well. If you are constantly liking his statuses or she is consistently stalking your page, this can feel like as much as a turnoff as if a partner was going through your belongings. Instead, give some space to your partner, online or in the real world. It will stop you from becoming another casualty of the often conflicting relationship between Facebook and relationships.
- Be Honest: Facebook does not leave the past in the past. Chances are that at least one of your past partners, for example, is on the social media site and may even be on your friends list. Rather than not tell your new, serious partner, be honest with them. Let them know that your exes are on your friends list and reassure them that your partner has nothing to worry about. Be prepared, though, if you are doing it, they might do it, too so respect each other and understand the boundaries.
- Facebook Is Not A Place: In the age of technology, Facebook and relationships are becoming forever intertwined. While this social media site may be a great place to build a relationship or find someone new, it is not a place. That is to say that Facebook is not a place. It is not where all of your relationship should take place, and it is not a location for dates and hanging out. Be sure to build your relationship outside of Facebook, even if on the phone, rather than through the social media site alone.
- Remember that Fights are Private: When it comes to Facebook and relationships, not everything should be shared. Your Facebook is a window into your world and you need to be careful how far you open that window. Things that you say have the potential to be out there forever so do not air your dirty laundry. Your friends and family do not need to know everything that goes on between you two, especially when it is anger in a fleeting moment of time. Temper yourself and your posts and your relationship will be better for it.
- Watch the Messaging: Facebook messages are private, but they are potentially hazardous to a relationship. They allow individuals to type quickly and share their feelings, even if these feelings are only fleeting. The messages remain in the inbox for as long as the recipient keeps them and are a constant reminder of fights gone past. So, even though it is private, do not share your anger via messages either. It is another unhealthy aspect of Facebook and relationships.
Why The Rules are Important to Relationship Success
Technology is a beautiful thing with a lot of positive aspects. It is not, however, perfect. You need to understand that even the simples of social media sites, like Facebook, can be very harmful to your relationship if used in the right way. For this reason, you and your partner should consider setting up rules like the aforementioned and making a conscious effort to not have this platform come between something great. Set the rules and regulations regarding Facebook and relationships and make sure you and your partner are both on the same page.
It may just help to save your relationship in the long run and keep you both focused on building a healthy and respectful bond.